Balance
2005-01-13, 8:29 p.m.

oladybug0 told me about a site called "Illustration Friday ", Once a week they pick a topic and everyone posts a piece of artwork (drawings, collage, computer-art..etc) in their blog. It looked like fun, All my artist friends should give it a go. (You know who you are) So I just did a 5 minute Watercolor sketch for this weeks subject in my sketchbook and scanned it.



The topic was: "BALANCE"

****

My brother's girlfriend gave me a book called "Wisdom", it's filled with quotes for every day of the year. I was sitting at the breakfast table with Eric this morning and I flipped through it to see what it said for today..

"All desire is energy. All Feeling is energy. All
thought is energy. All living is energy. All life is
energy.

If that energy is allowed to flow without any
contradiction, without any friction, without any
conflict...

Then that energy is boundless, endless.

It is friction which gives energy limitations. So,
having once seen this, why is it that the human being
always brings friction into energy?

Why does he create friction in this movement which we
call life?"


I was thoughtful while I read that, and read it over again a second time. I was thinking about all the drama I let into my life and how I let everything overwhelm me. I'm so sick of all the drama. It just seems like there are so many intertwined bad afterschool specials mixed up in my existance. So much melodrama. I realized it's because I'm always fighting against the things that happen to me. I try to make them go away or resent that they're happening. I cry and I yearn for what I can't have.

I realize I just have to let go and allow myself to just..fall.

It can't be that bad if I do. I can't control everything. I just have to stop myself from getting involved in the drama of the situation. That's just how it is. So be it. It's okay. Somethings can't change and that's just nature of it. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be at the moment. I have to stop fighting everything.

Things are never as bad and as tragic as the initially seem. It's seems like wanting what we can't have is just the root of all suffering.

If I feel a certain emotion..then I feel it. I don't have to deny it or make it go away. I just accept it. It's the fighting against it part that causes so many problems. It's the whole "I can't feel sad right now" "I shouldn't feel anger right now" "I have to stop feeling this way.." that tears me apart. Just because I feel something doesn't mean I have to act on it.

These thoughts are just random.

I have nothing to report today, We're working on drawings of characters for a 1st grade mathbook. A little girl character named "FLO" and her robot sidekick "FLEX". (oh yes, very exciting) Every sketch I do, has to be run past a hundred people and then one stupid person has to always want to change something. such as. "Her eyes should be green" or "I think she needs dimples" or "Perhaps she should have a different ethnic background". And then they all argue about it.

We're meeting some friends tonight at the Cafe Wunderbar and I have to go get ready right now..

But check out Coldandgray's recent entry. she made a list every slang word available for Breasts. I had no idea there were so many!

****

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Coming out of the darkness - into the light - 2010-10-10
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My little brother. - 2009-10-15
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